Gone Again

I'm flying to Riyadh Saudi Arabia, where I'll be covering the first leg of President Obama's a four country trip. It's about a 15 hour flight (23 hours on the clock) so I left Tuesday morning and I'll arrive Wednesday morning - weird. I left this morning before Jonah woke up and it was hard to leave. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited about this trip. If all goes as planned, I'll get to see the Great Pyramids in Egypt, the D-Day beaches of Normandy and spend two nights in Paris. But Jonah walks around saying DaDee! DaDee! now and actually runs into my arms when I get home (although sometimes he pulls a head-fake on me and runs to his favorite truck at the last second.) He also says Mam-ma! approximately 100 times for each DaDee! but it's so great. I give Jonah his bath and read him books at night, and sometimes after I put his pj's on I pick him up and he tucks his arms in and lays his head on my shoulder - he's ready for sleep. I rock back and forth and sing to him a little. I kiss him and smell his damp hair and think about how my son will, some day soon, be too big for me to hold in my arms. It's so hard to believe that Jonah did not exist before. I can barely remember life without him. So, leaving is hard to do. Much harder than it used to be. It's hard to leave Nicole and it's hard on Nicole too. These days Jonah is a handful, to say the least. Very independent and stubborn (don't know where that came from) and he's as demanding as he is cute. But the thought of him wondering where I am and not really understanding why I'm gone just breaks my heart. One of Jonah's favorite things is to group hug me and Nicole. It's the cutest thing. He likes to hold hands with us at the same time too. I just want to tell everybody about him. My love for Jonah is so intense and the wonder I feel watching him grow is just overwhelming. I know most new parents must experience these things too, but I feel like I just discovered the secret to life. The last time I saw my Mom she was hugging me goodbye in her Patty way (long, long hugs with lots of kissing and exclaiming about her handsome young son) she said "Oh, I just never get enough of this" as she rocked back and forth. I nearly cried. Of course she holds on for as long as she can. I would hug Jonah all day long if he'd let me.