Jonah is 1!

Jonah is 1 year old today! Happy Birthday little boy, my sweet little baby, who is growing quickly into a toddler. We are home for the holidays and had a party for Jonah today at Auntie Dani's house. We are spending the week at Pepe's house, and as we were getting ready to go to the party this morning, Matthew said to me, "Well, we made it to a year." "I know!," I said. "And, we're still married!" Then, Pepe said, "Wait, the day's not over yet!" Meanwhile, Jonah has started walking. Motivated by the overwhelming desire to touch Dani's kitty, Ted, Jonah took one ... two ... three ... FOUR! tentative but exciting steps. Oh my, he's a walker! Oh ... my ... he's a walker now. Doesn't leave me much time for reflection. Ah, my baby. How he has grown. He's lost the new baby smell but still smells sweet. A full head of hair and three haircuts under his belt already. Loves kitties, doggies, birdies, trees, wind, buses, trucks, his Pat the Bunny. Mama calms him while Daddy makes him laugh. Or, Daddy cradles him while Mama sings and dances for him. Beautiful boy with the most kissable cheeks. Sweet little chubby hands that are learning to do so much. He's a delight. So happy. So smiley. And, also, a bit quick to frustration. Wants it now. Like his mama. And, now he's walking. The little boy who took 62 hours to come into the world. And, now he's off. Toddling around on his own two feet. And, we will be right there with him, every step of the way.

I'm home

I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

I went out to dinner with my good friend, Jessica, tonight. I drank a little beer. We caught up on our lives. I stayed out late, for me. It was quite a lovely, fun night.

But, I have to say that the best part was coming home. The boys are both asleep (for now). The house is quiet. The kitties are curled up together on their bed. I imagine Jonah snoozing away in his crib where I left him earlier this evening, smelling fresh and clean from his bath. Matthew is slumbering, too; he's been working hard at daddy-hood lately.

I sure do like to complain sometimes when things aren't feeling right or there's too much to do or this or that has to be done right now. But, man, tonight, I just have to wonder, how in the world did I get so lucky?

I have changed into my pajamas, brushed my teeth, and the house is warm and cozy. I will tiptoe down the hall past Jonah's room and slip into the soft flannel sheets next to my husband. It was fun to go out tonight. I walked alone. Who would know that I was a mother, a wife? But, now that I am home with my family, I can think of no where I would rather be. ~ Nicole

Random thoughts

I am feeling especially scatter-brained lately. Sometimes, I feel like my life is one, long, never-ending "to do" list. I have felt that way a lot in my life, but now, it takes me much, much longer to actually complete most tasks. For example, I know I probably owe lots of people thank-you notes for various gifts they have given or favors they have done. I probably need to let this go, but I feel this bit of guilt gnawing at me about not writing them. Starting when I was little, my grandmother always stressed the importance of sending thank-you notes to people. And, back then, and even more recently, it was fun to pick out the paper or note cards, find a nice pen to write with, and compose a thoughtful and sincere note of thanks. Somewhere along the way, though, it became more difficult to find the time to do them, and started to feel like a chore, which is totally wrong to say since it sounds like I don't appreciate the thing for which I should be giving thanks. Like I'm not grateful. And, then, I wonder, why not just do it now? Just sit down right now and write out those thank-you notes, instead of scribbling down random thoughts from my addled brain. If I knew the answer, I probably would have done them already.

Last night, I went out with friends. Ladies' night dinner. I wore my high-heeled boots from Italy! I carried a purse (not a diaper bag)! I wore mascara and, gasp, lip gloss! Granted, I was late, by, like an hour, and I didn't eat dinner, and the waiter thought I was weird when I asked if I could order a half of a beer, because I just can't drink a whole beer anymore, and I tried hard to keep up with the banter about Capitol Hill gossip that I used to be so accustomed to participating in, when really I was just waiting for the chance to whip out a photo of my adorable son to show these ladies, some of whom I haven't seen since I was pregnant over a year ago. But, the waiter obliged me with my half-beer -- Stella! -- and I did keep up with the political conversation and talk did wander toward babies and motherhood -- it helps that the woman who organized the dinner is pregnant with her first child -- and I did get to show off the cute photo of Jonah. And, even though it was kind of hard to get out of the house last night and I was really only gone less than two hours, I arrived home feeling a little bit refreshed, glad to have a few laughs not related to baby poop, a little bit more rounded out.

Now, about that to-do list...
~ Nicole