Thursday, January 10, 2008

The birth of parents

Things are looking up, and I've learned that I need to trust my gut.

We talked to Jonah's doctor about his crying fits. She is convinced that it's just gas and that with some modifications to my diet, this will soon pass.

Before we called her, I was already feeling like we were overthinking the whole situation. We had the good advice from the lactation consultant, but some of it just wasn't sitting right with me. I just wasn't feeling right when I wasn't feeding Jonah even though he seemed hungry because we thought he had indigestion. (Since he can't tell the difference between the two kinds of pain, he often makes hunger signals when he's got indigestion.) It just felt wrong to not feed my baby when he clearly seemed hungry. Now, I believe my gut feeling was right. If he's hungry he will eat. If he's not, he may suck for a few minutes but then stop. Or maybe he'll spit up. I'm sure spitting up isn't fun for him, but it's relatively minor.

And, I've stopped worrying about having too much milk. I can think of worse problems. Jonah is gaining weight and his doctor is happy with that. I can do some simple things to make my milk supply jive with his needs, but I also believe eventually we will sync up.

It's not like things are going to turn around overnight. But, just knowing that we can do something to relieve Jonah's pain and that the end is in sight really helps. Plus, even though Jonah continues to cry sometimes despite all our best efforts to soothe him, it's not like we are wasting our time by rocking him or holding him. His doctor reminded us that even though he keeps crying, he knows we are there for him and that he can count on us to take care of him. We are imprinting this feeling of security on him, even when he has to keep crying.

We love Jonah's doctor. She's so cool-headed and loving and keeps reinforcing that we do, indeed, know how to take care of Jonah. She seems to know that all we need is a little more confidence and helps instill that in us with every conversation. For me, that means making sure any advice we get passes my gut test.

We may still be learning this whole parenting thing, but the fact is that we are his parents and we already know more than we think we do. ~ Nicole

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