Milking it

Jonah is now 9 pounds. We weighed him at The Breastfeeding Center yesterday, where we met with a lactation consultant. We've had a rough couple of days. He's been crying more lately, including after he eats.

We're not sure what's wrong but the lactation consultant had a few ideas. It's possible that I could have an oversupply of milk, or he could have indigestion or reflux, which causes him discomfort. At the same time, he's really clamping down on me causing me a lot of pain. It could be his way of trying to stop the milk flow so he doesn't gag, but we're really not sure. I have to unlatch and relatch him over and over, which really frustrates him . . . and me. Plus, he's getting stronger -- I'm amazed really about how strong he is -- so he is getting better at fighting me. Little flailing fists don't make it very easy to see what you're doing. I swear, new mothers should grow a third arm. I can't tell you how many times I wished I had at least one extra hand to hold his arm out of the way.

We've been dealing with this for a few days but it feels like a week, and I'm really dreading what it will be like when Matthew has to go back to work on Monday.

The lactation expert gave us some good advice, including teaching me how to perfect Jonah's latch. We felt really good when we left the center, but now that I'm home it's hard to put her tips into practice. Maybe because she often provided that third hand when I was practicing at the center yesterday! Meanwhile, I'm now no longer eating soy, in addition to no dairy, in case it's upsetting his stomach and causing indigestion. So, I've moved on to rice milk. If the problem is reflux, we are assured it's just a matter of time before his body matures enough to keep the milk down. For now, I can do more nursing with him in a more upright position, which is fine, except in the middle of the night when the side-lying position is best because it lets everyone get right back to sleep. And, since Jonah can't tell the difference between pain caused by hunger and pain caused by indigestion, it's Matthew's job to soothe him after feedings. If he calms down within a few minutes, he's probably full. For some reason, I have a harder time soothing him after he eats. I think it's because he knows that I'm where his food comes from.

A couple other things she told us: It might be a good time to buy a pump and let Matthew give him my milk in a bottle once a day to give me a break. And, Jonah's big enough for a pacifier if he just needs to soothe himself. Despite my severe pain, I am finding it hard to accept these two pieces of advice. I know I will have to pump eventually and I'm not totally against pacifiers in general, but I'm reluctant to start so soon. He's still so little!

The good news is that despite the problems, Jonah is steadily gaining weight, so he is obviously getting enough milk even though I have been repeatedly unlatching him, much to his dismay, and then sometimes just saying, "Enough. We're done for now."

The nights are the hardest. No matter how many daytime naps we take, waking up for a 1 a.m. and then a 3 a.m. changing and feeding is not easy. But, the sun comes up every morning, and we know we've made it through another night. This morning, Jonah and I had another rough feeding which I ended when his good latch suddenly changed to bad and painful. After I managed to soothe him for a few minutes, he then started with another crying jag. I did the hand off to Matthew, wondering if Jonah was still hungry. A few minutes later, Jonah was asleep on Matthew's chest -- this seems to be his favorite place to sleep -- and then a few minutes after that, Matthew was asleep, too. We have a peaceful house, for now. ~ Nicole