Sleepless

Matthew is away. On his way to Texas to photograph the president's visit with the German chancellor. I should be sleeping right now. But, I can't sleep until he calls to say he's landed safely. I've become even more of a baby now that I'm pregnant about him traveling. (And, it doesn't help that the reason he's not here has to do with George Bush! I think it's safe to say that without offending any of our dedicated readers!) Matthew and I are so connected right now that it feels weird to not have him home with me. We have our little routines even though we're both really busy. But, it's nice when we have some time together at home most nights, even if it's just an hour or a few minutes before I turn in (often before he does). He puts his hands on my belly and kisses it and says, "Hi, little baby. What are you doing, little baby?" or "Good night, little baby. Keep growing." I think it's also hard to be home alone because we're getting closer and closer to the birth. I hit eight months this week. For those of you counting weeks, it's now week 32. Still a ways to go but it's the home stretch now. It's not like I really think I'm going to suddenly go into early labor in the three or four days Matthew's going to be away, but I guess in the back of my mind I realize that anything's possible. On the other hand, I've got this amazing network of people to help me now or eight weeks from now or anywhere in between. I feel really lucky to have our midwives on call and our birthing assistant just a phone call away and several close friends nearby who have all gone through this before. Plus, tomorrow my sister will be here! Yay! I'm so tired and I should be sleeping. I really should. Tomorrow, I will wish I had gone to sleep earlier, I'm sure. I'll be cursing the alarm clock in the morning. I'll hit the snooze button over and over. The cats will be angry that I oversleep and I'm sure they will be little bastards, poking me and yelling at me to get the hell up already. But, I'm pretty sure Matthew lands in a few minutes so I'll wait for his call so we can say goodnight properly, to each other and our little baby. And, tomorrow, maybe I'll just finally give in to the exhaustion and take a nap on my office floor. Good night. ~ Nicole