Be nice

Sometimes people are nice.

Today, I had to stay late at work to make photocopies, of all things. Photocopies! By the time I left work, I was really ready to get home. My job is super busy right now and I'm pretty much always exhausted or at least a little bit tired. I've been walking home from work often, to get some exercise and fresh air and wind down after a long day. It's really nice. But, today, I just wanted to get home as fast as possible. So, I headed for the bus stop.

When I got about a block and a half away from the stop, I noticed my bus coming along. I realized that the only way to catch it -- and avoid waiting another five or ten minutes for the next one -- is to run.

I know, I know, I'm not supposed to run. I'm clumsy to begin with and having an extra 20 pounds on my frame doesn't make me any more graceful these days. But, I run anyway because I really, really want to get home.

I can't run very fast so I'm not sure I'm going to make it. As I run, I can see one or two people getting on the bus. But, I'm still about a half a block away when the driver closes the doors. I'm so bummed because I'm almost there!

But, then, I see the bus doors open again and I hear a voice, a woman, saying, "Open the door! Open the door!" A woman is at the bus stop waving to the bus driver and yelling at him to wait for me. It was just enough of a delay that I was able to reach the bus before he drove off. I rushed onto the bus, laughing a little and very happy to be on my way home.

By the time I caught my breath, I realized -- in my rush to get on the bus -- that I hadn't even thanked her.

I don't know who that woman was, but she was very nice to me today. And, I'm thankful that she helped me get home quickly after a long, hard day. ~ Nicole

The Art of Worrying

I had my 28-week prenatal appointment today. When my midwife asked if I had any questions, I rattled off a list of complaints. "I'm exhausted all the time," I said. "I'm hot and sweaty. Sometimes, I'm short of breath or a little breathless from just walking up the stairs. I have heartburn, my back hurts and I have these shooting pains in my groin. My face is puffy and I feel like a beached whale." All the while, she nodded and looked sympathetic. When I was finished, I was sure she was going to tell me that these were all signs of some horrible complications, or at least that I probably was starting to get high blood pressure, or worse, that I was obviously too high risk to use their services and would have to switch to an OB and hospital. Instead, she simply smiled and said in her usually calm voice, "What you are describing is completely normal." Then, she took my blood pressure and I was sure it would be high. "Normal," she said. "Is the baby in the right position?" I asked. She felt around and said, "It's too early to worry about that. There's still lots of space and the baby is moving all around." She listened to the baby's heartbeat, but kept losing it. "The baby is sure moving!" she said. She finally found it again, listened for a few minutes and said, "Sounds good!" My heart palpitations were slowing down. I had finally stopped sweating from my rush to get to the appointment. The lunch I wolfed down before leaving work had finally started to settle and no longer felt like a lump in my ever shrinking stomach. By the time my midwife drew some blood for my glucose test, I was joking and laughing. I won't get the results of the test for a day or so . . . just enough time to convince myself that I do, indeed, have gestational diabetes. Like Matthew always says, "At least you have something to worry about." ~ Nicole

A few of the "8,000" books I'm reading

When I started telling people I was pregnant, people started giving me books. It seemed that every friend I visited, especially women with children, loaded my arms with books about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, baby names, baby gear and more. I'm sure they were excited to share what they had learned, but I also ended up with a few books that I think they were glad to say goodbye to, as in "Oh boy, here's my chance to get some of this stuff out of my house, which is now overrun by baby toys."

Sure, I ended up with a few books that I'll probably never get around to reading, but having friends give or lend me all these books was a blessing. It spared me from having to go to a bookstore or library and stare at the shelves wondering what the hell I'm supposed to read.

Now my house is full of books, and I will very likely be thrilled to pass some of them along when the time is right. For now, I thought I'd share my current list of favorite books about pregnancy, birth and childcare. I hope that it will make your trip to the bookstore or library a little more pleasant.

Two page-turners that I quickly read cover to cover:

Birthing From Within by Pam England, Certified Nurse Midwife, and Rob Horowitz, PhD. I read this early in my pregnancy, a time when most women are overcome by both joy and fear (quite possibly freaking out a little). This book made me feel more and more excited about giving birth. A small warning: The first few chapters talk a lot about making birth art, which I love the idea of, but am not really inclined to do, even though I sort of wish I was. If birth art isn't your thing, stick with this book anyway. You will feel happier having read it, even if you're having horrible morning sickness.

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. Originally published in 1975, this book is full of real birth stories of natural births on The Farm, a community in rural Tennessee where women learned from other women and a few sympathetic local obstetricians how to give birth in their own homes or the community's birthing center. The language used by some of the women writing about having babies in the late 60s and early 70s, like calling their "rushes" (the word they used to describe contractions) "psychadelic" and their births "holy," adds to the books charm. Today, Gaskin is still considered the mother of all midwives in the United States.

What I'm reading now:

Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth by Robert A. Bradley, MD. Dr. Bradley was the guy that brought fathers back into the birth room in the 60s and 70s. His language is a bit hokey and old-fashioned, but his instruction shows all the things that happen in labor, even the pain, work together to allow a mother's body to give birth. Mess with it, and you can throw off the whole process, ultimately making things more difficult. He empowered women to take back control of their bodies and births and dispelled the myth that fathers are a bumbling lot best left to nervously pacing hospital waiting rooms.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin. This is Gaskin's (more contemporary) follow up to Spiritual Midwifery. It's full of more birth stories and practical advice from someone who has spent her life helping women birth their babies.

What I should be reading now:

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon. This book is recommended reading for our birthing class. In fact, our teacher says this one is good to own. So far, halfway through our birthing classes, I haven't really dug into it yet, but I will. I think the book's shape is throwing me off a bit -- it's wider than it is tall -- and it's hard to read on the bus or subway without intruding on the "personal space" of the guy next to me.

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League International, the gurus of breastfeeding. This book is also recommended by my birthing class teacher as a keeper and is known as the bible of breastfeeding. Fortunately, a good friend gave me her copy so I didn't have to buy it. I know I should dig into this one soon, well before I need to learn how to nurse my baby.

A good reference book: The Baby Book by William Sears, MD, and Martha Sears, RN. One friend recommended this as the only book you need from pregnancy to birth to toddlerhood.

Here's one that Matthew is reading: The Expenctant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be by Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash. This was a gift from my sister. It puts a smile on my face every time I look over to Matthew's side of the bed at night to see him reading it. Right now, Matthew seems to be alternating between this book and a book about the Red Sox.

And, finally, when it came to figuring out what the hell kind of stuff we need to buy for the baby (and what is a waste of money), this is a book that we couldn't have done without: Baby Bargains by Denise and Alan Fields. If you buy it, and you should, splurge and buy the most up to date edition. It's well worth the $18.

I'm sure more than one person has told me, "Don't read too much. You'll drive yourself crazy." But, so far, I haven't found that to be true. In fact, the reading I've done has had the exact opposite effect. I am more excited every day about being pregnant and giving birth and having a little baby. One of these days, I hope to start reading novels again -- and I'm sure the women in my book club will be glad when I can actually find the time to finish the book -- but for now I'm happy with the stack of books at my bedside. ~ Nicole